hospital, tests, and God's love

Sara went to the hopsital today to have some tests done. One was a simple ultrasound of her kidneys. A few weeks ago, a urinary tract infection left her with a high 106 fever. After taking her straight to the pediatrician, we found out that it was a UTI. So to make sure that the UTI wasn't a sign of any structural problems, they wanted to take a look at her kidneys. Turns out that she has both. I don't say that tongue-in-cheek, knowing that many are born with abnormally structured kidneys, one large kidney, or missing one. The other test was a lot harder - harder on Sara and harder on us.

Flouro (short for flouroscopy) is used to see the insides at work. We needed to see Sara's bladder at work to make sure that her urinary tract wasn't refluxing, or backing up into the kidneys, which can cause serious kidney damage. It's apparently a common practice to test little girls after a UTI since kidney reflux can be the cause of UTI's.

But in trying to make a long story short, a catheter must be inserted and a contrast dye pushed in. This is unpleasant to say the least, and if you've had a catheter placed in you before, you should understand. It was Sara's third catheter since the first two were needed to take urine samples at the pediatrician's office. After thirty minutes of waiting for the physician to arrive (due to a scheduling mishap by the hospital), we had a very tired baby in our hands.

Finally, the physician arrived and the nurses were able to start the catheter. She, of course, cried throughout the placement, but the most difficult part was when we had to leave the room during the flouro.

We could hear her through the door. Cries and screams were difficult enough to listen to, but when she began to call for "da da" I felt my heart sink in my chest. Lynne's pain of hearing her baby cry turned into panic, and ten minutes seemed like ten days of waiting to see, hold, and comfort our little girl. Our thoughts of opening the door almost turned into action until the nurse opened the door to let us in.

As I sit here now, she's wonderfully asleep at home, in her crib.

*****
But a thought came to my mind as Sara called out for me: the suffering of Christ Jesus, the Son of God.

I'm in NO WAY comparing Sara's safe, monitored, and good procedural test today to the brutal and agonizing passion of Christ. But I'm only reminded of this: we are made in the image of God (Gen 5:1), and while God is holy, righteous, and almighty, he is also a father. I can hardly imagine the pain of hearing his son cry out to him "Eloi," wondering where he is (Matt 27:46, Mark 15:34).

We often focus on Christ's suffering, yet today brought me into wonderment of a God who loves me so that he would allow his only son to suffer and die at the hands of man, his very creation. His hurt was far greater than what Lynne and I experienced today, and his love is much more than we could ever give or understand.

O God, how thankful we are for you, for your love, for your son, and for the glimpses of holiness that we are able to see in our beautiful little Sara.

Gabe